I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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