Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
