i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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