I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
