my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
