you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just high enough for therapy.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
