So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
