Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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