She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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