yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize