I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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