He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
