I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
