Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
