Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
