a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize