You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
