I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
