I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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