she looked like the bat from fern gully.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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