Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
