i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
