This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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