Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
