I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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