Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Randomize
