He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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