Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
