I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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