You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
