Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize