apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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