you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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