i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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