i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
