i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
