Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
