Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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