STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
