do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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