I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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