i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
