Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
