My balls are so social today.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
