I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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