so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
