Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Randomize
