sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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