Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
