I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
