hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
