WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
